it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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