So drunk its hurt
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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