They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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