I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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