i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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