it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize