Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize