If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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