Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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