If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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