Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize