no, he came in my armpit
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize