So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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