Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize