He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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