News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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