I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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