Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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