And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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