Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
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i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize