well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize