Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize