I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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