he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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