They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize