we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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