I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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