i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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