she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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