He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize