I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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