she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize