So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize