My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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