why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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