Soap is not a condiment
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize