About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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