My room smells like vodka and shame
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
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He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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