i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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