last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize