We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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