Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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