we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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