So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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