My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize