i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this just has baby written all over it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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