did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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