There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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