oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize