I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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